At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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