This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
