Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
