also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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