i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
