dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
