I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
