Don't EVER smell your tampon
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
