Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
