They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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