i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
