My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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