just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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