I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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