giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
