y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
