He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
They have beer where we have blood.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
