where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I cannot find my penis.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
