omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
