your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
