You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
