I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
