I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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