ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I wear drunk well.
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