I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
