Whod you bang
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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