On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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