Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
