Buhtt sex?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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