Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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