Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
