I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
