Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
