I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
