Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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