He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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