My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
