She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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