KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
