New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
