More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
