Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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