I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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