You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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