She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Welp...herpes.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
