Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
