god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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