So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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