im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
