STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
