uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
