After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
