think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
