I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
