that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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