We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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