oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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