Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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