just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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