All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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