I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
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You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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