He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
