the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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