just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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